Big Fish In a Small Pond: Lesson from the Precious Left

The Wit and Wisdom of the Internet Elite

What lies below the fake cut (except for those few of you reading via Canadian Left where, in deference to the new rules, I have posted my words in their entirety, not that I expect them to last long there/here) is pure self-indulgence, I admit it.

Having recently been called a "loon, and a racist", as well as having "posted here many times before with rants against French Canadians and Jews" on the Livejournal community CanPolitk by a moral idiot called SourDick, I was a little more than put out when a couple of internet commissars with too much time on their hands took offense to my having the temerity to actually sully the barren grounds of their own Livejournal community with actual posts.

Arguing with them got me branded a "total dick", among other things and so, since I've delivered a book to the printer, put to bed another edition of True North Perspective and made significant headway on a couple of other projects, I decided to tell my tale of woe to my good friend Bill Needle for his thoughtful input.

The following is the result of Bill's (ahem) utterly unbiased analysis. And also, a very funny video from Merry Olde England.

Moribund internet 'community' moderators

chastise only participant for improper conduct

Reasoned discourse reigns supreme:
Dow deemed "total dick" (and also, not "non-crazy")

By Bill Needle
Special to Edifice Rex Online

Photo by Geoffrey Dow

In the begining there was Canadian Left. Yea, it was designated a space "for left-friendly discussion of canadian political issues" and so it was a lonely and a desolate space, yet not entirely pure.

And its Rulers were the Righteous Mod Frickinmuck and Gentle Mod Gostwes and they saw their creation good.

Nevertheless, its Constitution welcomed participants from "all backgrounds and all areas of the political spectrum" to participate and so Danger was introduced to the Creation.

And yea! the Righteous Mod Frickinmuck did post entries quoting from media articles, offering sometimes, an opinion with the quote and link, and sometimes, not.

And lo! the comments were few and they were far between.

And the Mods saw that it was Good.

And then it was a second Mod did appear, and Gentle Mod Gostwes did post a link to a movie of much fame and renown. Quoth the Mod, "Enjoy."

But all was not well in Kingdom of Canadian Left, for on Christmas Day of the Year of Our Mods Two thousand and Six, there did appear an interlopper, who posted their own link and with it an opinion which did praise Canada as compared to the Great Satan of the South. And the Gentle Mod Gostwes did comment and affirm that Americans's geographic skills are poor indeed.

And much mirth was had by both.

And so it was that discussions continued, despite the interlopper.

And 13 posts were the morning and the evening of the first year. Yea there were 13 posts in two months.

In the year two thousand and seven the Purity of Canadian Left did increase. Twice the Righteous Mod Frickinmuck did post links and opinions in the Subject Lines. And there were agreeable replies and the Righteous Mod Frickinmuck saw that it was Good.

Yet uneasy were the Mods, for there was insufficient Purity. And so pleased They were when the following three months saw but two posts and no replies.

But June brought unease anew. And a call to arms there was, and two replies from persons hitherto unknown. And thus was the peaceable kingdom threatened by Activity.

And now for something somewhat different:

'Splitter!'

And lo! There appeared dissent among the Mods, or so it seemed. For unheralded did appear the posts of Roaring Steelcaver whose posts were not but links and curses, but did shine with Paragraphs and Structure and Original Words beyond such as "fuckfuckfuck".

And then Righteous Mod Frickinmuck did strike a blow for curse-and-link as posting style.

And balance was restored. But lest there be doubt, Righteous Mod Frickinmuck did post again, saying, "this is fucking ridiculous. fuck." And she did quote a paragraph and provide a link, thus contributing to deep and fulsome thought.

In July Righteous Mod Frickinmuck did bravely pizza porn condemn. And yea even did she include three lines of original text. "*damn*", quoth Frickinmuck, liking not at all the pizza porn of Winnipeg.

But Roaring Steelcaver returned anew and more Original Words posted he, once more offering New Style to the Comfortable Kingdom of the Left.

But there were no replies and order was restored.

To reinforce such calm did the Gentle Mod Gostwes return with links to films and third-party websites. This too was ignored, and the Mods saw that it was Good.

But Roaring Steelcaver did continue to post Original Works in The Year of Our Mods Two Thousand and Seven, and even to generate comments, though few.

And the Other Mods grew uneasy and so passed another year, with no balance to be found.

The Year Two Thousand and Eight was at once barren yet fecund. Thrice did Roaring Steelcaver entries post, but only one reply did he recieve. All else was silent, save for one entry promoting another community entirely.

And yea, the Mods saw that the advertisement was Good, for they left it in place to this day.

And Agust 5 was the end of Two Thousand and Eight.

The Year of Our Mods Two Thousand and Nine did see but two posts, neither creating replies. And September the 23rd was the end of the Year.

And so it seemed that at last had Canadian Left achieved Perfection, for it recorded no activity at all following Roaring Steelcaver's final entry.

Or so it seemed.

But yea! the work of the Mods was not done. Pollutants new would rise from salted fields.

It was not one year that an Infidel did appear!

And yea! He posted Original Words, put incomplete they were, and Linked to his own Website rather to an Authoritative Third Party.

And the Mods were uneasy in their watchfulness, but there were no replies and so they hoped Young Geoffrey (for such a title did claim the Infidel) would refuse to sully the Purity of Silence with Original Words and Photos and even Self-Deprecating Humour.

But alas, in the New Year of Our Mods Two Thousand and Eleven, on January the third, another hitherto silent voice enquired, "Is there a Moderator in here?" and the Infidel did venture a reply saying, verily, I too wondered, but the pornography has vanished..

The Mods kept their counsel.

And then it was a that the Infidel did strke again, complaining about the CBC and it's love of Toronto and its hatred of winter.

Again, there were no replies, yet the Mods were warrier now than ever. For nearly one full year Canadian Left had existed in Silent Perfection, but now was threatened by the interloper.

And so it was the Infidel dared strike again and, worse still, discussion he did generate.

But yea! when again the Infidel dared strike the Mods did Rise and Change the Rules.

And thus did Gentle Mod Gostwes decree, There shall no longer be allowed any "flagrant self-promotion. This includes posting incomplete entries with links that direct people to your off-site website."

And the Infidel was awed by the Might of Gentle Mod Gostwes and yet was unwise and questioned Him, daring to proclaim himself the only poster, so why the rush to change the rules? Surely, linking to one's own site be allowed if linking to third-party's was Correct?

Gentle Mod Gostwes was wroth, and claimed that linking to third-party sites and to one's own were entirely different and that the latter "destroys communities because it essentially hijacks the discussion and forces things offstage."

And so the Infidel's brain was broken by the non-sense of the argument. And he did point to the Mods' nakedness and proclaim, the Infidel, "I am the only contributor to Canadian Left since September 23rd, 2009."

And the brazen ego of the Infidel was laid fully-bare, for he did write, "Not to put too fine a point on it, I've been posting my teasers here as an act of (arguably self-interested) charity) more than anything else."

And the debate continued a while, and yea it might be the Infidel would have gained the upper hand were it not for the intervention of Righteous Mod Frickinmuck, who did brand the Infidel "a total dick", yea, and not "non-crazy".

And thus was order restored and the Glorious Silence of Canadian Left restored to its ideological Purity.

Amen.

P.S. As I rather suspect the Mods at CanadianLeft will almost certainly delete the post in question sooner rather than later, I've taken the liberty of copying it here or posterity.

Spread the word!

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