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Abort the Moon? | www.ed-rex.com

Abort the Moon?

Blogging Doctor Who, New Series 8



Abort the moon?

The following is a rough transcript of the propagandistic anti-choice (anti-abortion) theme of the Doctor Who episode, "Kill the Moon." The dialogue is by a playwright, which makes the earnest ineptness of the "debate" all the more surprising.

The discussion begins around the 24-and-half minute mark, after the Doctor reveals that the moon is fact, not a planetary body after all.

Image: Earth votes to kill the Moon by turning off the lights. Screenshot from 'Kill the Moon'.Lights out: Earth votes to kill the moon, but when faced with possible extinction, who's going to worry about democracy? There's a fairy tale to be told!

Clara: Doctor - what is it?

Doctor: "I think that it's unique. I think that's ... the only one of its kind in the universe. I think that that is ... utterly beautiful."

Captain Lundvik: "How do we kill it?"

Clara: Why do you want to kill it? [Editor's note: She has every reason to think it's a threaten to the existence of human civilization, if not to the existence of the human species itself.]

Courtney: It's a little baby!

Captain Lundvik: Doctor, how do we kill it?

Doctor Kill the moon? Kill the moon. Well, you have about 100 of the best man-made nuclear weapons ...

Captain Lundvik: Will that do it?

Doctor A hundred nuclear bombs, set of right where they are? Right on top of a living, vulnerable creature! It'll never feel the sun on its back.

Captain Lundvik: And then what? Will the moon still break up? You said, you said we had an hour and a half?

Doctor Well, they'll be nothing to make it break up, they'll be nothing trying to force its way out. The gravity of the little dead baby will pull all the pieces back together again. Of course, it won't be very pretty. You'd have an enormous corpse floating in the sky. You might have some very difficult conversations to have with your kids.

Captain Lundvik: I don't have any kids.

Clara: "Stop! I mean, this is a life. I mean, this must be the biggest life-form in the universe!

Courtney It hasn't been born.

Captain Lundvik: It is killing people. It is destroying the Earth.

Clara: You can not blame a baby for kicking.

Captain Lundvik: Let me tell you something. You want to know what I took back from being in space? Look at the edge of the Earth, the atmosphere that is paper-thin, that is the only thing that saves us all from death. Everything else, the stars, the blackness, that's all dead. Sadly, that is the only life that any of us will ever know.

Courtney There's life here. There's life just next door.

Captain Lundvik: Look, when you've grown up a bit, you'll realize that everything doesn't have to be nice. Some things are just bad. Anyway, you've run away, it's none of your business.

Courtney Doctor, I want to come back.

Clara: Courtney, you'll be safer where you are.

Courtney Doctor I'm sorry, I want to come back. Okay? I want to help ...

The Doctor tells Courtney how to send the Tardis to their location, then explains he's washing his hands of this adventure.

Doctor: The earth isn't my home, the moon isn't my moon. Sorry.

Clara: Come on. Hey!

Doctor: Listen, there are moments in every civilizations' history, in which the whole path of that civilization is decided. The whole future path. Whatever future that humanity might have depends upon the choice that is made right here and right now. Now, you've got the tools to kill it. You made them. You brought them up here with your own ingenuity. You don't need a Time Lord. Kill it. Or let it live. I can't make this decision for you [...] It's your moon, woman-kind; it's your choice.

The Doctor swans off, we experience a pointless breach solved by a lucky bit of metal blocking the hole and then a bit more discussion.

Clara: If we let it live, what would happen if the moon wasn't there? [...] Okay, there would be no tides, but we'd survive that, right? They've knocked out the satellites, there's no internet, no mobiles ... I'd be fine with that.

Lundvik: It's not going to just stop being there. Because inside the moon, miss, is a gigantic creature forcing its way out. And when it does — which is going to be pretty damned soon — there's going to be huge chunks of the moon heading right for us. Like whatever killed the dinosaurs, only 10,000 times bigger.

Clara: But the moon isn't made of rock and stone, is it, it's made of [Editor's note: really rock-like] egg-shell!

Lundvik: Okay, okay fine. If by some miracle, the shell isn't too thick or it disperses or if it goes into orbit, whatever, there's still going to be a massive thing there, isn't there, that just popped out. Well, what the hell do you imagine that is?

Courtney: Loads of things lay eggs.

Lundvik: It is not a chicken. [...] It's an exo-parasite [...] like a flea, or a head-louse.

Clara: I'm going to have to be a lot more certain than that if I'm going to kill a baby [...]

Lundvik: You want to have babies?

Clara: Yeah ...

Lundvik: Okay. You imagine you've got children down there on earth. Grandchildren maybe. You want that thing to get out? Kill them all? You want today to be the day that life stopped on earth because you couldn't make an unfair decision?

Through the miracle of a surviving "TV satellite", Clara presents the pro-life case as follows:

Hello Earth, we have a terrible decision to make. [Scenes of giant spiders bacteria, erupting from the moon's surface like so many roaches running from a sudden light.] It's an uncertain decision and we don't have a lot of time. We can kill this creature or we can let it live. We don't know what it's going to do. We don't know what's going to happen when it hatches, if it will hurt us or help us or if it will just leave us alone. We have to decide together.

When the results are in — Kill It! say the people of the Earth — Courtney and Clara physically prevent Lundvik from setting off the bombs, the Doctor materializes and takes them away just in time to watch the show from a picaresque beach somewhere below.

And thus endeth the philosophy lesson. Any life is more import than every human life, if the script arbitrarily says it is. Feeling is more important than intellect. And faith, well, faith is all you need.

Make of it what you will.

Spread the word!

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